Drawing My Own Conclusions

The past several months I have been trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I would like to say that I have it all figured out now. But I don't. I know what I have done for the past 6 years (web development). I know what I don't want to do from the three years before that (commissioned sales). I know that I like to draw. I consider it a talent. I don't consider myself to be the best artist by any stretch of the imagination; but I can rightly claim people on my team rarely lose at Pictionary. Just sayin. Anyway, to that end, I have had some free time in the past couple months to work on my digital artwork skills. I have completed over 50 "subway art" type projects with a decent amount of satisfaction with each one done. At the prodding of my sister, I recently completed these:

They are 8x10 (or 16x20) sized drawings for hanging on a nursery wall. Now, just so you don't get the wrong idea, I don't have a nursery currently, and I don't need one in the future. However, I had a great time doing them and I hope you like them. Oh, and if you are interested in purchasing them, you can buy them and many others here: http://photokapi.smugmug.com/

The Songs She Cannot Sing

I am going to wax philosophical for this post.  As most know, I have a 12 year old (Becca) with severe physical handicaps. These make her of an effort to care for in many respects. She is non-ambulatory (Doctor speak for doesn't move herself) and non-verbal. Not that she doesn't make noise, she is quite vocal about how she is currently feeling. Whether it's "I'm tired, and want to go home and go to bed" or a heartfelt explosion of laughter at precisely the time she is supposed to be quiet, she knows (most the time anyway) exactly what she is doing. However, she doesn't say a single word. Never has. Probably never will (in this life anyway).

However, there is so much more to her than her disability. So many feelings she not only has inside, but that she evokes in others.

For some, it's pity. I can't always tell if it's pity for her condition or pity towards her parents who have to care for her 24/7. To them I say, don't pity me. I have a child with guaranteed acceptance into Heaven. Something she did in the pre-mortal realm gave her the opportunity to come to this life without the temptations of Satan. I cannot imagine the power she once had that gave her the blessing to be tested in a life that's only requirement for her is that she gains a body. As her father, I know she was sent to me to give me the exact hardships I needed to be a better person. She makes me so much more grateful to those who are willing to lend a hand, without being asked. Funny things, exact hardships. They always presently come at the wrong time, but after the fact, came exactly at the right time.

Some people say, "Oh you must be a very special person to merit a child like this." To them I say, thank you for the compliment, but in earthly reality, makes as much sense as "You are so blessed to be barren and childless" when you long for children. My first reaction to knowing my child would be born with disabilities was anger. How unfair life was! How, if I had known, I would have done something differently so that this wasn't what happened. I was intelligent and in good health, and my wife was well-educated, a wonderful wife, and beautiful. Why would this happen to us? At some point came acceptance, then eventually the feeling of being blessed. But those feelings aren't set in stone, and I still have all three at times, sometimes even all in the same day. She wasn't a blessing. She became a blessing by becoming one of the hardest trials I have ever had. But, like all trials, wasn't meant to be only endured, but enjoyed. Men are that they might have joy. Not will have, but might have -- it depends on our attitude toward our trials.

I have had snippets of visions of a future with Becca where she has long brown locks to the middle of her back. She is running and laughing. She is beautiful. Looks just like her mom in high school, only with lighter brown hair. The grin is the same. The smile is the same. The sound of her laughter is the same. But her legs are moving her places. Her arms extend to give hugs. She has a beautiful voice. The songs she could not sing, finally pass her lips. The songs I couldn't sing, finally manifest themselves. Our loving Heavenly Father knows the songs of our hearts and looks forward when to the day when we can sing them out loud -- to Him.

There is music in my soul today,
A carol to my King,
And Jesus, listening, can hear
The songs I cannot sing.

- Eliza E. Hewitt (LDS Hymns 227)

Download and print other colors at
http://beccabug.com/blog/2012/02/the-songs-i-cannot-sing-printable/

Things You Will NEVER Hear My Wife Say...

First off, this is tounge-in-cheek; we are happily married, and drive each other happily crazy sometimes. So, in honor of this fact, I came up with a list of things that my wife will never say to me, no matter how long we are married.

• Wow, I ate just the right amount at dinner; I'm sure this will last me until breakfast.
• I can't reach that, it's just TOO high!
• I couldn't sleep another wink. No, really!
• I woke up like two hours before you this morning, just to make you a lovely breakfast.
• Thanks for taking the kids for the afternoon, but hurry back, I miss them so much already!
• You know what would be awesome? Watching you play video games for a couple hours.
• I cannot believe how nice my hair looks today -- and I didn't even use a brush!
• Please don't give me more chocolate.
• Look honey! I went to the store and bought these 5 outfits and they all fit perfectly with NO alterations required!
• While you were gone, I finished up your "honey do" list. You were almost done anyway.
• I am afraid we have too much time and money, what will we do with all this surplus?
• I don't need a pet of any sort, they would just take my time away from you.
• Of course I wanna watch a Naked Gun / Hot Shots marathon, let's hurry!

I love you Diana!

Happy Valentines Day!

P.S. Her list is here.

Valentine's 2012

Here are the valentines the I helped the kids make this year. They sound even better if you say them in a Sean Connery voice.

 

Book of Mormon Reading Chart

This year's Gospel Doctrine Study is the Book of Mormon. One of my goals is to read it as a family within the year. We have started it several times before, but often get sidetracked or fizzle out. I am sure I am not the only one with this issue. To help me (and them) I made a deal with my children, that no matter how late it was, they could always stay up until we had read scriptures. Not only has this helped us read scriptures every night, but suprisingly has helped them go to bed better and more quickly.

As one of the teachers, I encouraged the class to read the whole Book of Mormon this year, starting from the beginning. To help facilitate finishing and keeping up with reading, I put together bookmarks as a handout (Yeah, I know, how Relief Society of me.) The first column is the month, the second is the page you should be on at the last day of that month. Feel free to save it and print it, or click on the image below for a letter-sized page of 6.

Remembering the little things...

I am terrible at keeping a journal; I used to be rather regular about it, but I'm not anymore. I could say I will be better someday, but that may not happen either. However, these are a few of the things I want to remember about my family right now.

Diana (Age Classified) Adorable. Loving and thoughtful. Sometimes too thoughtful. Forgiving of my foibles, and too hard on herself for her own. There is no one I am more excited to spend eternity with. Works very hard all day every day, and like most moms, needs a recharge for the batteries that she doesn't get often enough.

Becca (11.9) Wonderful, makes me feel so frustrated and so nurturing all at the same time. Cries for no reason sometimes, but laughs for unknown reasons too and that makes it all worth it. Is more work than I thought I had time for, and Diana takes the brunt of it -- most of it in stride.

Emily (9) Smartest 9 year old I know. Moody beyond belief. I worry about her self-confidence. Does NOT take criticism well, but adores praise. Reads books voraciously like her mom. Passive unless you awaken the sleeping giant within. VERY helpful, even if she gets leaned on rather hard as the pseudo oldest in the family.

Grace (7) Only one who inherited her mom's freckles. Cute, and smart. Asks for help with homework for companionship, not need. Sneaky. Creative and fun when she wants to be. Whines to get the privileges of her sister without the effort. Very sporty. Loving and helpful to her little brothers, fights with her older sister.

Landon (4) Is a rock star to ANY song on the radio. Has all the moves down pat and knows most the words after hearing the song only a couple times. LOVES superheroes. Any of them. All of them. Knows most of their names and superpowers. Recently he's taken up being a "perdition" (Magician). All boy, but very thoughtful and caring toward Becca - even when he uses her as an obstacle in his jumping contests.

Ethan (2) Momma's little shadow. Cannot be without her without asking where she is and what she is doing. Daddy is a reasonable substitute, some of the time. Needs kisses on his boo-boos, but an air kiss in the general direction fixes everything from a small bump to a face plant. Eats ALL the time.

If you don't' keep a journal, at least write things down every so often. It's often the small things they do you forget, but makes them the most loveable too.

One Month Photo Challenge

After almost 2 years of daily photo posting, I am running out of ideas. So, I decided to write it down -- make a list of a daily picture so that I wouldn't have to think OF the subject, just how to portray it. Comment on this post with a link to your own blog with your participation. C'mon. You know you want to....

 

One Way, Keep Right

We went to Brigham City this weekend for a family baby blessing. After sacrament meeting, we took a drive around town. The Brigham City Temple is coming along nicely and we made a stop to take a quick peek through the fence. Due to construction, traffic was re-routed around the temple so as we made our way around it, I saw this:

Notice two very important signs, ONE WAY to get to the Temple. KEEP RIGHT. There really is only one way to get to the temple, keep right with Heavenly Father, keep right with your family, and keep right with your fellow man. Who knew so much could be learned outside the temple that's not even finished.

A Brush With Amazing

Tonight the whole family had the opportunity to meet Collin Raye. It was an amazing experience. Such a nice guy -- truly awesome. We sat and talked to him for almost an hour while he held Becca and stroked her head and hair. Then we got to sit in the balcony backstage and watch him sing. What awesome messages his songs portray. Life after Death, Eternal Love, Kinship, God's Love. Amazing. If you want to read more about the whole experience, check out Diana's post. Anyway, I did get some decent pictures, and thought I would share them

They did this for a whole hour, he talked, she listened, he smiled, she smiled, he kissed her and stroked her face, she giggled. It was awesome

Our backstage lodgings

Becca just listened intently the whole time, not a peep.

During the singing of Amazing Grace...

His Rockstar pose.

3 in the outhouse

You can also check out the first time we went to see him in concert

Halloween 2011

The Candy Corn Princess

Mad Climbing Skills...

The Dynamic Duo

Rosetta the Garden Fairy

Tinkerbell the Tinker Fairy